Social Security Questions Women Ask Me Most
I’ve heard from so many women who are worried that they may be missing out on Social Security spousal or survivor benefits. That’s understandable—the rules are complicated, and one misunderstanding can cost you thousands of dollars over retirement.
This is especially important for teachers in the 13 states—including Connecticut and California—where many public employees did not pay into Social Security. Because of the Social Security Fairness Act of 2025, many may now qualify for spousal and survivor benefits that were previously reduced or eliminated.
Here are some of the questions women ask me most often.
Spousal Benefits
1. “My spouse had a much higher Social Security benefit than I did. How much could I receive?”
You can receive up to 50% of your spouse’s Full Retirement Age benefit if you wait until your own Full Retirement Age—currently 67 for many people.
If you claim earlier than your Full Retirement Age, your benefit will be permanently reduced.
2. “Can I collect a spousal benefit at 67 and let my own benefit keep growing until 70?”
Unfortunately, no.
When you apply for spousal benefits, Social Security considers you to be filing for your own retirement benefit too. It pays your own benefit first and then adds a spousal supplement if you qualify for more.
Because your own benefit has already started, it will no longer grow until age 70.
3. “My own benefit is small. Can I collect it first and later receive a larger spousal benefit?”
Yes.
This can be a good strategy for someone with a small benefit of her own, including many teachers who did not pay into Social Security for much of their careers.
You can collect your own benefit first and later receive an additional spousal amount once your spouse claims, as long as the spousal benefit is larger.
If you wait until your Full Retirement Age(67) to collect your own Social Security, your total benefit will be 50% of your spouse’s Full Retirement Age benefit. If you claim your own Social Security before your Full Retirement Age, your Spousal benefit will be reduced for the rest of your life.
4. “My ex-spouse hasn’t claimed Social Security yet. Do I have to wait?”
No. This is one of the perks of divorce.
You may be able to collect divorced-spouse benefits even if your ex has not yet claimed.
You may qualify if:
You were married for at least 10 years.
You are currently unmarried.
Your ex-spouse is eligible for Social Security.
You have been divorced for at least two years
You are at least 62
If you wait until your Full Retirement Age(67) , you can receive up to 50% of your ex-spouse’s Full Retirement Age benefit.
Survivor Benefit
“What exactly is a survivor benefit?”
A survivor benefit is paid after a spouse or qualified ex-spouse dies.
Unlike a spousal benefit, a survivor benefit is based on the amount your spouse was receiving—or was entitled to receive. You can claim survivor benefits without claiming your own Social Security retirement benefit.
If the survivor benefit is larger than your own benefit, Social Security pays you the higher amount. You do not receive both full benefits added together.
5. “My spouse earned much more than I did. How can I receive the largest possible survivor benefit?”
To receive your full survivor benefit, wait until your full retirement age before claiming Survivor benefits. At that point, you may receive up to 100% of the benefit your spouse was receiving. If you claim survivor benefits earlier, your monthly survivor benefit will be permanently reduced.
6. “My spouse just died. Will Social Security automatically change my benefit?”
You should still call Social Security.
In some cases, your payment may be adjusted automatically, but you should make sure everything is processed correctly and that you understand all of your choices.
7. “My ex-spouse died. Could I still qualify for survivor benefits?”
Yes, you may.
Many divorced women are surprised to learn that they may qualify based on an ex-spouse’s record.
You may qualify if:
You were married for at least 10 years.
You are at least 60, or at least 50 and disabled.
You are unmarried or remarried after age 60.
Your ex-spouse earned enough Social Security credits.
The big difference is you need to apply when you are an ex-spouse. This will not happen automatically.
8. “Can I collect survivor benefits now and switch to my own larger benefit at 70?”
Yes.
This is one of the biggest differences between spousal and survivor benefits.
You may be able to collect survivor benefits first while allowing your own benefit to keep growing until age 70. Or you may collect your own benefit first and switch to a larger survivor benefit later after your spouse or ex-spouse dies.
9. “Can I continue working while collecting survivor benefits?”
Yes, but if you are under full retirement age, earning too much could temporarily reduce your survivor benefits. In 2026, you can earn up to $24,480 without affecting your benefits. If you earn more, Social Security will withhold $1 in benefits for every $2 you earn above the limit. Once you reach full retirement age, you can earn any amount without reducing your benefits.
10. “If I start survivor benefits at 60, how much will I receive?”
You can begin survivor benefits as early as age 60, but the amount will be reduced.
Approximate amounts are:
About 71.5% at age 60.
More than 75% at age 61.
More than 80% at age 63.
More than 90% at age 65.
Up to 100% at your survivor Full Retirement Age.
11. “And my all-time favorite question: Will my ex-spouse’s Social Security be reduced if I collect on their record?”
I know—many women would love the satisfaction of giving an ex-spouse one final poke in the eye.
Unfortunately, Social Security does not offer that particular form of revenge.
Your ex-spouse’s benefit will not be reduced by even one penny, and your ex will not be notified.
So, you may not get the last laugh—but you may still get a monthly check.
Want to learn more? Watch the replay of my live webinar, “How to Get the Biggest Social Security Check.”
